Sometimes, I wonder just how deeply, how flawlessly we are able to fool ourselves. I mean, he thought he was hopelessly in love with me, he thought I was his one, and I knew absolutely he wasn’t, and at some level he must have known it too.
We are undoubtedly able to fool ourselves, but we must know, when we let ourselves know I mean, that deep down, it isn’t right. That person we swore was it, isn’t, the job we were meant to do, we aren’t.
I think we know, deep down. I think sometimes we need the fantasy though, the broken heart, I don’t know why, but I know we do. We invent it because we need it, and when we don’t need it anymore, we realize it wasn’t true.
Kiss me until I forget he exists, kiss me until I forget entirely.
Last night, seeing you, like slow motion, like a movie, the one where hopefully you realized she’s beautiful, when you realized you hurt her and yourself, when you realized all you’d lost.
“Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now..”
Call me crazy, but I would never wish that. That little girl, that awkward pre-teen with the bad hair cut, there are those moments in her life that had she changed one little thing, I mean tweaked them slightly, her whole world would have been different, completely so, but that little girl might not have grown up to be me.
I think if I could tell her one thing, that I know now I mean, it’d be trust yourself, trust your mistakes, your misteps, the learning curves, and all the bad outfits because one day, you’ll be me, and I think if you got to know that person, the one standing here right now, I think you’d really like her. I know I do.
“But why is this so hard to do, I’m miserable.”
“Because, you’re giving up the good with the bad. The snuggle time, the good moments, how gorgeous he is, that feeling of being somebody’s, and more, you give it all up, so you get rid of all the bad stuff, so you can find someone who makes you happy. Even if that means being by yourself for a little while."
Took a shot at love,
and oh it was bittersweet,
first time false,
ducking heads from reality,
but in our way, I guess I loved you,
in a better way, I know you loved me too,
Ideas to each other, easy to love ideas,
today I invited my dad to Europe with me, and he said, I think this is something you need to do by yourself, what a guy, truly, what a guy.
But haven’t you always wanted to be 18 and in a foreign country and in love?